Sugar Made Me Do It: Confessions of a 3pm Snack Gremlin

I’d like to make a formal statement.

It wasn’t me. It was the sugar.

Sugar made me do it. Sugar made me open the fridge and stare into it like it owed me money. Sugar made me snap at a printer. Sugar made me get disproportionately angry when my denim jacket pocket got caught on the bathroom door handle.

At approximately 3.07pm, it made me eat half a stale brownie I found in the staff room. I didn’t even like it. I just wanted inner peace.

If you’ve ever found yourself pacing between your desk and the kitchen, muttering “I just need something,” you’re not alone. This, my friend, is the official time of day when the Snack Gremlin emerges from the shadows, fuelled by stress, cortisol, and the kind of fatigue that makes you question every life choice since 2004.

Exhibit A: The Afternoon Ambush

Here’s how it starts. You’ve had a virtuous morning: eggs for breakfast, salad for lunch, water bottle filled like a hydration goddess. Then somewhere between leading a meeting and knocking out your to-do list, you get hit with a craving so intense it could qualify as a religious experience.

You think, “Maybe I’ll have a cuppa.”
You make the tea.
You glance at the biscuit tin.
Five minutes later, you’re ankle-deep in banana bread crumbs wondering what just happened.

That, ladies and gentlewomen of the jury, is the blood sugar crash. Your oestrogen’s doing the cha-cha, your cortisol’s running the show, and your body is screaming, “For the love of food, give me something fast!”.

Exhibit B: Hormones, Chaos, and Carbs

In perimenopause, your hormones don’t whisper; they shout. Oestrogen dips, cortisol spikes, and your brain panics, demanding instant energy. Sugar gives you that fast hit of dopamine, that fleeting sense of “Ahh, I can handle life again.” Then it ghosts you, leaving behind fatigue, guilt, and an open packet of Mint Slices.

It’s not a willpower problem. It’s a wiring problem. Your body is trying to stabilise itself, but without the right balance of protein and fibre, you end up chasing the sugar high like it’s a toxic ex you know you shouldn’t text.

Exhibit C: The Evidence Against Caffeine and Chaos

Most women hit the 3pm wall because the entire day has been running on adrenaline and coffee. You’ve skipped lunch, inhaled an oat flat white, and ignored the subtle cries of your nervous system saying, “Please, we beg you, eat something something green.”

Then the slump hits, your brain fogs up, and suddenly you’re knee-deep in vending machine diplomacy, debating whether a muesli bar counts as a health food.

Here’s the thing: sugar isn’t evil. It’s just super sneaky. It waits until your defences are low, your inbox is high, and your patience is thinner than our 90s eyebrows.

Exhibit D: The Fix (aka How I Reformed My Snack Crimes)

The way out isn’t going sugar-free and living on air and celery. It’s learning to eat in a way that keeps your blood sugar stable so the 3pm gremlin never gets the spotlight.

Here’s what works for me:

• A lunch with proper protein (chicken, tofu, salmon, lentils, whatever your vibe) whether it's a proper meal or a snack lunch box for those days when you're too busy to stop.
  
• Afternoon snacks with protein or fibre and healthy fat: apple and nut butter, yoghurt and berries, cheese, crackers that aren’t cardboard or one of my smart sweets.
  
• A short walk after lunch. It clears cortisol, boosts focus, and reduces that “I’ll eat the keyboard” hunger that hits by 3.
  

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about stacking the odds in your favour so sugar loses its hold.

Exhibit E: The Closing Statement

I’m not swearing off dessert. I love dessert. I will always love dessert. But sugar no longer runs the show.

Now, when the 3pm gremlin starts whispering, I take a breath, have a proper snack, and remind myself that tired isn’t hungry and caffeine isn’t lunch.

If you’re ready to break up with your sugar spiral without giving up the good stuff, grab my No Bake Smart Sweets recipes. They'll satisfy your sweet tooth without derailing your fat loss goals. 

Case closed.

Mini FAQ: Sugar Cravings and Perimenopause

Why do my sugar cravings feel worse in perimenopause?
Because oestrogen affects insulin sensitivity. When it fluctuates, your blood sugar control goes haywire, leading to intense cravings and energy crashes.

Should I quit sugar completely?
No. That only makes you crave it more. The goal is balance, not punishment. Choose wholefood carbs and pair them with protein and healthy fats.

Will the 5-Day Kickstart stop my cravings?
It’ll help you understand them, stabilise your energy, and reduce the intensity so you can have dessert without it turning into a crime scene.